The Love For Him

It has been 2 days I have not heard his voice, feel his warm and see him. No words can describe how much I miss him. Though I can feel his love for me, even he is in oversea with his family celebrating her niece wedding. In my mind and heart, I worry so much and think too much. I worry that something may happen to him along the way. I worry he will cheat on me or outside got girl. I know I must trust him. But ever since my ex-boyfriend cheat on me yet did not admit. I really start to lose trust in guy and scare that the guy I love will betray me one day. No matter how much I think of him. There is no where I can contact him. Tomorrow he will be back. I wish that I can be with him always and always stay on his side.

Today is our 6 months anniversay. I really feel fortunate to have him as my boyfriend. How I wish is my hubby one day. Time really fly, I will never forget how we meet and how we get to know each other and become couple...

I and him use to work in same company but due to some incidents he is forced quit his job (*he is innocent and society is black* really feel sad that we are not in the same office and compnay anymore) and work at another company yet the same line as me. He told me that the first day I report to the office he already fall for me and swear that he will have me one day. (*till now I did not believe it because it is really like a fairytale to me*) When I start to have feeling for him I really did not remember too. We use to always work together, eat together and do things together during working hours. I remember that time he got a fiancee and going to marry. He devoted to her so much but the girl never appreciate. Sometime I really feel sad for him.

Since he share with me his problems, I also share mine. I told him about my relationship with my ex-boyfriends and told him that my ex never realise that deep in my mind I was tired about the relationship and wish to break because he cheat on me and never even appreciate me no matter how much I did for him. Sad right. Whenever I share the story about my ex and me, people will say that I act as a role of boyfriend, he act as a role of girl friend.

The first impression he gave me is full of worries and sadness and has a fierce look. I sometime scare of him too. Somehow I more touched on the soft side of him. I will never forget that he is the only person in office really treat me very good. Every morning he will buy breakfast for me and remember what I like to eat and what I don't like to eat. When he realise that I feel hungry, he sure accompany me go makan. Got 1 time I wear new shoes and it hurt my feet. Without second thoughts he went to buy me plasters and help me to stick on. I was touch at that second because my boyfriend at that time never even did that to me before. My ex-boyfriend will just nag and say me and no actions.

As I say that time he got fiancee. I thought that he is going to marry. Out of a sudden they break of. After 1month he then realise that the girl he used to love so much and about to marry to already with other guy. He guess that the girl play him out. Very sad right. Ever since the girl break with him, she never even contact him or show concern for him. I saw him cry when she broke off with him. I really feel sad. He told me that he did not want to find any girl anymore. Deep in my mind I feel that he is a nice guy and should find a nice girl to appreciate. How I wish I was the one at that moment.....

But heaven really grant my wish that I and him in the end together through lots of obstacles... and now I believe I and him is deeply in love with each other. He sometime will say that we love each other to much, want to put each other on the first place and expect too much.. in the end I and him quarrel. He always try to let me win and make me happy. But I still worry that he will leave me with other girl one day. I know I should trust him and he want me to tust him.

One big worry will be my parents. I scare my parents will object our relationship. Because he is a malay and he is much older than me. Till now my parents did not know that I got a boyfriend as I did not know how to tell them. Before I want to tell them, I have a malay boyfriend my dad already said that he did not wish that I have a malay boyfriend. I really sad when I heard that because I love him so much. Everybody feel that our relationship will not have a good end. It make me so trouble and worry. He is the one I really wish to choose to live on for the rest of my life when both our financial stable. I really ready to give up everything for him.. my study, my family.... this is how much I love him.

Last 2 days my dad said to me that anything also can share to him... how can I tell him I got a malay boyfriend how can I tell him how much I want to live him... Sometime I really did not want to stay at home. I want to stay with him. With him sleeping with me, I feel secure and no worries nor scare. My birthday wish for this year is that I and him can be together forever and parents approve. I want to have his baby. We even already think of the name.

Hubby,
I love you alot and ready to give up everything for you. 3 days never see you and hear your voice make me feel sad really miss ya.

Beloved Huny