Sad News

The last post that I have input is 1 year plus ago and at that moment I am the most happiest lady in the world to have a guy that treat me so good and love me so much. However this happiest is like a bubble, it is about to burst.

Everybody will be thinking that he betray me (I don't know) or we quarrel or more... everything is wrong. My bf has stomach cancer and going to leave me forever. He told me that it is early stage but I cannot believe what he said to me. As I did some research and realise that stomach cancer can only detect during the later stage. He is now having medication and needs to see doctor once a month. The medication and consultant fee is more than 1000. It is so costly. I really wish that he just lie to me about everything and actually he don't have cancer... it is true. He also told me that if the medication never improve his health, he needs to go for operation. He told me that the doctor said that success and failure is 50-50. So sad.

He tells me his illness during valentine day and my heart break. I just 22 and it is so young to see someone you love going to die infront of you. I really cannot take it. I am so miserable and sad. I don't wish to share with my girlfriend as I know they cannot help me much and I don't wish to let A know because her mum also died due to cancer.

Today my bf said that his friend recommend him go to JB to see doctor. But I have the feeling that this doctor cannot be trusted, he don't believe me. He said that he need to try if not he will regret. I went speechless. I really wish he understand how I feel as if anything happen to him, I will regret forever and will not dare to fall in love again. I want to accompany him, he said no need. I really don't know I cannot go. I thought normally people who sick really wish the love ones to accompany him or her.

Yesterday he said that I care and concern him too much, and I force him to think he going to die. I really don't know what I did is right or wrong. I thought that he need me now the most and since there is no much time for us. We should spend more time together and cherish each other. He seem don't like me to contact him or meet him up. I really don't know what to do.

I really wish that god can lengthen his life.

The Love For Him

It has been 2 days I have not heard his voice, feel his warm and see him. No words can describe how much I miss him. Though I can feel his love for me, even he is in oversea with his family celebrating her niece wedding. In my mind and heart, I worry so much and think too much. I worry that something may happen to him along the way. I worry he will cheat on me or outside got girl. I know I must trust him. But ever since my ex-boyfriend cheat on me yet did not admit. I really start to lose trust in guy and scare that the guy I love will betray me one day. No matter how much I think of him. There is no where I can contact him. Tomorrow he will be back. I wish that I can be with him always and always stay on his side.

Today is our 6 months anniversay. I really feel fortunate to have him as my boyfriend. How I wish is my hubby one day. Time really fly, I will never forget how we meet and how we get to know each other and become couple...

I and him use to work in same company but due to some incidents he is forced quit his job (*he is innocent and society is black* really feel sad that we are not in the same office and compnay anymore) and work at another company yet the same line as me. He told me that the first day I report to the office he already fall for me and swear that he will have me one day. (*till now I did not believe it because it is really like a fairytale to me*) When I start to have feeling for him I really did not remember too. We use to always work together, eat together and do things together during working hours. I remember that time he got a fiancee and going to marry. He devoted to her so much but the girl never appreciate. Sometime I really feel sad for him.

Since he share with me his problems, I also share mine. I told him about my relationship with my ex-boyfriends and told him that my ex never realise that deep in my mind I was tired about the relationship and wish to break because he cheat on me and never even appreciate me no matter how much I did for him. Sad right. Whenever I share the story about my ex and me, people will say that I act as a role of boyfriend, he act as a role of girl friend.

The first impression he gave me is full of worries and sadness and has a fierce look. I sometime scare of him too. Somehow I more touched on the soft side of him. I will never forget that he is the only person in office really treat me very good. Every morning he will buy breakfast for me and remember what I like to eat and what I don't like to eat. When he realise that I feel hungry, he sure accompany me go makan. Got 1 time I wear new shoes and it hurt my feet. Without second thoughts he went to buy me plasters and help me to stick on. I was touch at that second because my boyfriend at that time never even did that to me before. My ex-boyfriend will just nag and say me and no actions.

As I say that time he got fiancee. I thought that he is going to marry. Out of a sudden they break of. After 1month he then realise that the girl he used to love so much and about to marry to already with other guy. He guess that the girl play him out. Very sad right. Ever since the girl break with him, she never even contact him or show concern for him. I saw him cry when she broke off with him. I really feel sad. He told me that he did not want to find any girl anymore. Deep in my mind I feel that he is a nice guy and should find a nice girl to appreciate. How I wish I was the one at that moment.....

But heaven really grant my wish that I and him in the end together through lots of obstacles... and now I believe I and him is deeply in love with each other. He sometime will say that we love each other to much, want to put each other on the first place and expect too much.. in the end I and him quarrel. He always try to let me win and make me happy. But I still worry that he will leave me with other girl one day. I know I should trust him and he want me to tust him.

One big worry will be my parents. I scare my parents will object our relationship. Because he is a malay and he is much older than me. Till now my parents did not know that I got a boyfriend as I did not know how to tell them. Before I want to tell them, I have a malay boyfriend my dad already said that he did not wish that I have a malay boyfriend. I really sad when I heard that because I love him so much. Everybody feel that our relationship will not have a good end. It make me so trouble and worry. He is the one I really wish to choose to live on for the rest of my life when both our financial stable. I really ready to give up everything for him.. my study, my family.... this is how much I love him.

Last 2 days my dad said to me that anything also can share to him... how can I tell him I got a malay boyfriend how can I tell him how much I want to live him... Sometime I really did not want to stay at home. I want to stay with him. With him sleeping with me, I feel secure and no worries nor scare. My birthday wish for this year is that I and him can be together forever and parents approve. I want to have his baby. We even already think of the name.

Hubby,
I love you alot and ready to give up everything for you. 3 days never see you and hear your voice make me feel sad really miss ya.

Beloved Huny

Reborn to MY BLOG

Hi everybody!! It has been more than 2 years I have not type on my blog. The last time I post my blog I was still in poly. Time really files. Now I already graduate and working for nearly to half a year. Through these years many things happen and certain things I really did not want to face.... Now.. Is time to share with people about things happen in my life...

I want to congra myself and thank for the blessing from the god that I have peacefully and successfully go through my poly life... I study so hard... which gain me a merit for poly cert and an EM services award.. I guess my parents will feel proud for me... Hope I never disappoint them... I have already plan out what I am going to do for my future... as I am a girl so I have time to go and work and experience as compare to those guys who need to go to NS for 2 years. I decide to work for one year plus and register for NUS on Feb (actually don't really know when is the registration date).. After working for 6 months, I still have the interest in property line.. so I have decided to take back the same course which is property development and facilities mangement... Feedbacks from my friends are that study in university is really stress.. It is like no time for yourself to enjoy... I really hope that if i really get into the university I can manage it well and score well... I have confidence that I can make it.. I don't want to disappoint my family and most importantly I do not want to disappoint myself and my hubby... SO JIA YOU!!!!

Haha do you believe that less than 1 month I manage to find a full time job... though salary is not that glad, it still very near to my house and food there is cheap.. this make me spend less and no need to wake up that early to work....

Hehehe I work in town council as a property officer... People there are really friendly and my manager is really nice to us.... I am proud that I am the YOUNGEST in that town council.. ahhahah... work there can see different type of people and learn lots of things.. Because we need to handle the public and government bodies.. Through this job, I know that actually politic are black... and news may not be true at all time... and people in working life may back stab you without you notice it... My Job is like a middle man and all the people make our job so difficult... sometime I wish to help the resident but other government bodies restrict my limit... sometime I really wish to solve the case but resident never want to co-operate with us... sometime I really wish to help but our power is restricted.. sometime is also depend on your luck Hai... the worse things is no matter how hard we help and we already help them... no one really appreciated or say thank you to us.. not even the resident or the high position people. Though we are the lowest status in the company, we did the most job and we all work very hard. All the benefits are given to the high position people. Sad right... We did not have increment in salary (even after probation) and bonus and salary is less than high position people and even other company. Guess among all property company, this "S**K" company has the lowest salary lor.. they eat our money... imagine there is a different of hundreds.. HAI!!!

Hahaha I will stop naggin here... next time I will share more abt my love life which has a twist when I work in this job and s

hare other things :P

I am tht bad

http://desmondabtme.blogspot.com says:
1)dun b stupid to fall in love wif a guy who dun like u..
2)cherish urself..
3)listen to gd advice by fren..
4)dun b naive..ur tat guy already got gf liao..so dun break them up
5)B more active..go clubbin or wat experience more even if u dun like
7)u too indoor...stupid in love
8)inmature n childish
9)apperance b more gentle

http://desmondabtme.blogspot.com says:
1)but u r a gd fren
2)hardworkin gd in studies
this is 2 gd pts lor

http://desmondabtme.blogspot.com says: (himself)
1)acc a gal who is sad..console her..wipe away her tear worry for her..somemore i dun even noe her well this 1 time meet her
2)helpful to fren,stay back to teach classmate math
3)like to do volunteer work
4)fillial
5)sensible
6)care for fren
soo on

Hahaha..........say I always depend on friends.............do u believe? I think my friends wun believe this

Busy Busy

Erm.....about one month never type blog.... Too busy with my studies... Busy studying for my coming tests. Busy doing my project and tutorials. Busy practice my social dance for the career and course fair, lunch-time performance. Really stress....tired.... It was not easy to cope but I still made it. I really find that managing time is important. Although one day got 24hours, it is not really enough for us.

I feel that I will not score well for my tests. As I don't really have the time to study. Furthermore, I was sick..... so not really can concentrate on my revision. Really hope that this time can score well.....

Finally my social dance performance had finished.... hahaha..... damn scary... My dance steps wrong too... haha thank to my dancing partner.. he made me feel relax and calm... as he guided me all along... However the whole performance was a success...hahaha..

NP Idol

Yesterday went to NP to see their NP Idol Concert. Actually I went there was not to see the concert but jus to support my friend, Sherri. She was the member of the concert's organization. She in charge of lighting. The concert was totally the same as Singapore Idol. After auditions and prelimary round, 10 contestants were in the final.There were telephone number to call and vote for ur favourite contestants too. They sang quite well...all the contestants got their own fans and supporters...the atmosphere was good. I really enjoyed myself. Too bad I was tired so went of after all contestants finish singing. Haha... they sang well...look handsome and pretty too..can see all of them put alot of effort inside. Got one girl sang FIR song,Lydia...her pitch was too high tht everybody cover their ears...Another girl, she sang well but too bad her appearance was bad...she nv wore proper attire and nv stood straight...it really nv give audience a good impression or capture their attention... Got a guy name Irwin, 17m..he attract lot of girls as well as guys...everybody said that he is very handsome and cute..he got alot of supporters...he sang well too especially Lin Jun Jie song..he sang chi ban on tht day..no nice...his charming eyes...wow....haha... i think alot of girls really fall for him bahx... he won the NP Idol.
The refreshment was delicious...jus a blink of an eye all the food and drinks had already finished...
Lastly...i also saw a guy tht I met last time...it was really coincidence tht I saw him...both of us was shock......

Studies..Badminton..Mum's Birthday..Daddy's luv..moi pro n luv..councilor

So tired for the past few days, busy doing all my tutorials and projects. Hehe.... on the same time I also slack abit n also tried to make more new friends. This week I will be quite busy...need to practice my social dance for CFP n meet my friends to NP concert n go back to sec sch with my friends to take her o'level cert...so on.....busy rite..but I still will stay contact with anybody who wan to find me. I not like others..when busy u sms him or her...she of he jus dun reply....tht really not gd..

Play badminton with my guy friends at BPCC on last Sunday quite fun, although I not tht pro in badminton. Do u believe tht I dun noe how to start ball? So my friend, Edward needs to teach me...but I still dun noe how to start ball...After that we got play match...hehehe...Quite long I nv saw Edward n Lin Cheak le....with them I feel happy as they treated me well and with them I feel comfortable..it jus gave me a feeling of the moment the 3 of us had spent during sec sch...it was really memorable...miss it so much. Edward n Lin Cheak still the same old them...like to challenge with each other almost everything. This time Edward won...he really good in badminton n defeated Lin Cheak...I think he sure happy bahx..hehe... They are guys tht really treat me as who I am n not like a toy.

Hehe.... after the badminton, I needed to rush back home before my dad woke up as later I needed to go out with them to celebrate my mum birthday.... Hehe.... however they postpone the birthday celebration to the next day... At nite we went to Tangmah Jurong and ate our dinner... so delicious...as it was my favorite food..... the chilli fish n vege... I ate 2 bowls of rice. My mum treated us this dinner as it was her birthday. Tell u something, my mum seldom use her own money to treat us anything de....
I feel tht my dad really dote my mum alot. As he bought a new hp for her although it is jus a 100+hp. He nv scolded my mum, when her previous hp was stolen by someone in Bugis. Yesterday my father also came back at nite to celebrate my mum birthday...this time got birthday cake...wish my mum happy birthday...let her strike 4D or TOTO...let her be prettier...n healthy

Finally, my mind nv keep thinking of guys and bf... I am more focus in my studies. Guys jus like to use me to make themselves happy, like a toy. Hai.... Why they nv stand into my shoe at all? I so miserable...even more than them...but they only think of their own needs, happiness and satisfactory. I jus dun dare to fall for anybody...as guys will tend to leave when u start to like them...or they will use ur feeling to take advantage of u.. Good guys are hard to find le...really hard to find...true luv tooo....
My "councilor" really treats me very gd..n I trust him alot.. He is the only one tht make me feel tht someone really care for me..as no matter how sick he is, how drunk n tired he is...he will talk to me n make me happy..listen to my grandmother's talk n problems...even I repeat alot of time..he will answer all my stupid qns n give me answers n advises...he so gd rite..too bad he not attach..n I am too young for him. When I need him he sure will reply immediately, no matter how busy he is... not all guys will do it rite?
I have try to stop liking anybody le....Victor, Shine, Pisces, on n on.....they are guys appear in my life for awhile n will vanish after awhile...now all of them are jus friends to me...I wun think of the outcome but jus think of how to make myself happy.