Sad News

The last post that I have input is 1 year plus ago and at that moment I am the most happiest lady in the world to have a guy that treat me so good and love me so much. However this happiest is like a bubble, it is about to burst.

Everybody will be thinking that he betray me (I don't know) or we quarrel or more... everything is wrong. My bf has stomach cancer and going to leave me forever. He told me that it is early stage but I cannot believe what he said to me. As I did some research and realise that stomach cancer can only detect during the later stage. He is now having medication and needs to see doctor once a month. The medication and consultant fee is more than 1000. It is so costly. I really wish that he just lie to me about everything and actually he don't have cancer... it is true. He also told me that if the medication never improve his health, he needs to go for operation. He told me that the doctor said that success and failure is 50-50. So sad.

He tells me his illness during valentine day and my heart break. I just 22 and it is so young to see someone you love going to die infront of you. I really cannot take it. I am so miserable and sad. I don't wish to share with my girlfriend as I know they cannot help me much and I don't wish to let A know because her mum also died due to cancer.

Today my bf said that his friend recommend him go to JB to see doctor. But I have the feeling that this doctor cannot be trusted, he don't believe me. He said that he need to try if not he will regret. I went speechless. I really wish he understand how I feel as if anything happen to him, I will regret forever and will not dare to fall in love again. I want to accompany him, he said no need. I really don't know I cannot go. I thought normally people who sick really wish the love ones to accompany him or her.

Yesterday he said that I care and concern him too much, and I force him to think he going to die. I really don't know what I did is right or wrong. I thought that he need me now the most and since there is no much time for us. We should spend more time together and cherish each other. He seem don't like me to contact him or meet him up. I really don't know what to do.

I really wish that god can lengthen his life.